Its very real.). Something Was Wrong is an award winning docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. There were certain daily routines he started from the beginning that he never wavered on, even near the end. The more examples he gave, the more memories came back. We went about our work date, my heart racing and mind running wild. Totally. Ok thats wild fast! Simply switch between keys without allowing air to pass through their surface and your fingertips. Welcome to the Official Crime Junkie Store! Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. We never watched a movie with my roommate because that time was spent talking in my room. Just forcing myself to share the good, badand ugly because it does coexist, but all bad, ugly things make Gods goodness shine brighter in contrast. He pulled me out of the trap to begin with; He will restore everything. Since 2012, MTV's reality series Catfish has taken us through the murky waters of online dating by investigating relationships and exposing the people who lie about their identities. Dick was definitely an abuser no doubt but it seems like every single guy she dates they have a problem with. There was a particularly dramatic night where he was driving up for the weekend, and my roommate and I were in my car on our way back home to meet him with movie night snacks. Last night my mind was jam-packed with the horrific events I cant stop reading about. Without something to work toward, we wither. Tee and Sylvia become closer as Sylvia and her son experience health challenges. Everything looked guaranteed until they went a different direction. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. I was so excited for an entire weekend with a couple of my favorite people! The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. A listener makes a discovery that leads Sara to final answers in her quest for the truth. Hear from survivors who have never before agreed to share their story publicly in this heartbreaking and harrowing season. The vileness of words spoken in the final couple of months, contrasted with the soft, loving words that originally sucked me in made me nauseated. Hours later when Id suggest we cook at home to save money, he would insist we eat dinner at the most expensive sushi restaurant in Sacramento. When Sara Lewis shared her story on a podcast, she didnt think of herself as brave. But when her story went viral, she quickly learned what it meant to be in the spotlight. I'm on episode 10 and have enjoyed it but also feel like maybe Sara is a littleextra lol. Rather than beating a dead horse, taking time to figure things out has helped solidify the ground beneath my feet. And if youre hearing Saras story for the first time, wellyoure in for a wild ride!Show Notes:Something Was Wrong Podcast (Saras story is Season 1)Follow Sara @spaceandpurposeFollow Kaitlin @kaitlingraceelliottFollow SWE @so.what.elseKaitlins Website. I think that sums up my most recent thoughts in the recovery process, but I went a tad further and wrote things out on the flight to Nashville last weekend since Im trying to get better at sharing my process and the annual renewal fee for this website just hit my bank account. When my story is released to the public, in all its true-crimey-ness, Im thrilled to know that it will ultimately point to the miracle He did in rescuing me. We find our own ways to ask, Am I enough?. I dont feel wanted here. Aside from writing, music, Frenchie videos and seeing the world, I also love learning about how to care for my health naturally. (I dont know if Im ready to post my thoughts on church leadership that encourages anyone to remain in an abusive marriage. I have a point to make with my past that I will shamelessly vent here now: perhaps we shouldnt devalue the gravity of the Cross by continuing to wallow and call ourselves sinners, though Im no seminary student. Season 7. The loosey-goosey-ness has been humbling and revealing. That dude needs major help. *Content warning: sexual, physical and emotional violence involving children, childhood abuse, sexual abuse of a child, rape, child sex abuse materials, human trafficking, and suicide. He said once or twice that he wanted our house to be an alcohol free home. He would set new rules, but change them when he pleased, often joking about my wine problem.. That the ground beneath our feet doesnt feel the same and were somehow powerless against it? Otherwise it just reveals a lack of character.). Beautiful day. This episode comes out for free on Thursday, February 16th 2023. Our convictions are woven tighter and our testimonies grow more powerful. It makes me cringe. Clarity kept me focused and I knew what hed said. This is my neighborhoodanyone know his name? I know God literally commands us to be at peace and find joy even in terrible events; I just couldnt help but feel like joy would be a dismissal of the travesties, the economic and political devastation, worldwide deception, division and all-out spiritual war happening. Jesus said to approach Him as children do. If you're into true story podcasts, give this one a try. With the cooperation of the investigative agency, Solvable by audiochuck takes the listener behind closed doors and speaks directly to the past and current personnel who are responsible for investigating these crimes. It is that simple. Jesus said that whoever loses their life for His sake will find it. The Bouge family narrowly escaped the Jonestown massacre November 18, 1978. Sara and her family don't. Me. Psalm 37 has been brought to my attention more than once its not a gentle read. It was just a misunderstanding! Yes! You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free on Amazon Music included with Prime. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. This episode comes out for free on Thursday, March 9th 2023. One day, I would hear a speech on budget and how were broke because Im so expensive or spend so much. My exs crocodile tears and contorted face felt disproportionate to the moment and the amount they were giving. Weve been stretched thin, poked, prodded, pushed, provoked but not brought to our knees as a whole. Those that lacked depth or true relationship with God are lost and floundering. Stress, family drama, work, something was always burdening him. Sorry not sorry, youre rigur, Just finished episode 4. If its His word, He will back it and ensure it doesnt return empty. To a fault, I will assume someone meant the best but simply made a mistake. The busyness is all valid things like 3 jobs, a consistent fitness routine, family relationships, etc but before I know it, 3 weeks have gone by and the person that blessed me with these jobs and incredible community (literally everything I was just asking Him for) hasnt heard from me and thats all He wants. Youre loose-lipped! as if it was obvious and went about his business. r/podcasts: a subreddit to discover, discuss, and review podcasts with other podcast enthusiasts. S1 E2: It Was Weird. Discount automatically applied at checkout, Book Review: A Story of Alcoholism, Pain, and Hope after Loss. The more I piece together, the more freedom and healing comes. He responds. Why? He was extremely generous with his resources and compliments. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. Anyone who has tried it knows it teaches him to cower and hide the next time he messes up and this defined my idea of how God saw me for far too long. Nothing will hurt you. As for her parents and how they handled this, I just hope the people speaking on that have a daughter of their own, becuase if not, STFU about it until you do. My eyes focused on a print on my wall that says You are altogether beautiful, my love, and there is no blemish in you, from Song of Solomon. Welcome to a spiritual war. If I was upset, hed wind up saying, maybe I did ___ to you [yet to be proven], but YOU did ____, ____, and ____ to ME!. Sara begins to uncover more about her Fiance. I literally came on here looking for someone else to validate my feelings on this - thank you! Ill never forget a time in San Francisco when he purposefully drove his truck out of the way through a flooded corner, sending a massive wall of water straight up into the air that came crashing down on a crowd of people waiting to cross the street. He agreed to wait it out a little bit but things were precarious. I just started listening, so I haven't gotten to the wackiness about the boyfriend, but the sister is A LOT. In todays episode, I interview Holistic Psychotherapist, Isaac Smith, MAT, LCSW, NTP to discuss why leaving an abusive relationship safely is important, the cycle of domestic abuse, creating a safety plan, resources available to all, and how others can best support those in an abusive relationship. Season 6 explores these questions and more through stories of first person encounters with some of the internets most depraved offenders. What would life look like if we didnt think so highly of ourselves that the possibility of failure (more like a guarantee at some point) wasnt so unthinkable? Nothing to fear, because fear cant coexist with perfect Love. I just listened and I want to know too. S1 E15: Safety + Coping Strategies for Leaving Abusive Relationships. Something Was Wrong When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. I think they sort of gave up policing people. In past blog sites I wrote about random funny stories or my process with the Lord, but I started this page while recovering from narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. I may not be all things, but I can be obedient and He is faithful. Analyzing every response, I got very quiet and in my head. I know where my heart was. Holding on to hope, whether for their spouse or for the sake of their kids, many stay. I froze and watched as he swiftly closed it with a few keystrokes, his face expressionless. Just before that, though, I had been on my piano playinga Chopin Etude Id been assigned my very first year in college, as a wide-eyed homeschooler walking into classrooms for the first time since elementary school. No backhanded comments or sarcasm. Without it, as Scripture says, we die out. Classified Ads. In careers, romantic relationships, etc, we might settle for something a step above or similar to what we knew before, because at least its not as bad. Especially women. Omg how did you find that?!?! 2. If its a hectic one or has something Im not looking forward to, Ill reach further and look for a break in the clouds to set my sights on, and let that ray of light keep me focused. Sara discovers something terrifying about her Fiance. (Opus. If for some reason you always walk away from time with someone feeling like you have a lot of self-work to do instead of feeling bolstered and encouraged, take heed and maybe put your running shoes on. Your confusion and brain fog could very well be the result of cognitive dissonance caused by your brain attempting to sort out two opposing realities. 10 no. I've honestly had a fantastic career so far, working alongside brilliant people for the best brands in the world. But I thought this was it I think, and try to control my reaction and feel guilty for expressing my disappointment to the Lord. Soon after I get that thing, I go on my merry way and get busy. The first season deals with a young woman named Sara who was in engaged to a man who she later found out was not who he claimed to be. Its insidious and the cost is incredibly high. (I realize not everyone reading this shares my beliefs. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. I was just over here trying to plan a wedding in 3 months determined to do it with a fraction of a normal budget. episodes discover Most Recent February 24, 2022 1 hr 24 min Download S11 E8: [Molly] Unimaginable Rage This week survivor Molly shares her story. Heres the biggest revelation of many this summer: I am deserving of my dreams, and on top of that, Gods for me are bigger. And what is it really like to be doxxed and harassed online to the point the FBI has to get involved? I have a hard time separating my ideas of others dreams for me vs. my dreams for myself. Sociopathy tends to be characterized by a lack of conscience and ability to form many true emotional bonds, but psychopathy means zero conscience or personal bonds. Its very simple: youre more excited to be with your roommate and thats fine. I dont believe things have gotten the worst they will get because I dont think the church is quite desperate enough. I never had to obtain the "approval" of my sister -- it's just a lot of input for this poor woman and a lot to satisfy. add a review Rate Podcast Play Apps List Bookmark Share Contact This Podcast Surely if hed written those letters he wouldnt be sloppy enough to leave it open on a laptop hed be letting me use? Mine was all mental, so I minimized it because outwardly it didnt appear as dramatic as others stories. When we receive the gift of what Jesus did for us,He isnt looking at our shortcomings, so why should we? I closed the door and sat down, turning the fan and faucet on so he wouldnt hear me crying and praying. *Content warning: emotional, sexual and physical violence, child . I was constantly confused by inconsistency. Its easier to choose the less flashy accessories, the more practical car, the simpler outfit because I can hide from scrutiny. Dick is an abuser -- but also isn't Sara's family dynamic a bit intense? The police have you surrounded. ), (There were too many blinders on at that point to recognize that life will ALWAYS throw curveballs testing the patience of myself and the person Im with. This is a really great podcast that delves into very important issues. . If nothing else, just the amount of talking is overwhelming. Most of them are a bit extra IMO, lol. If I got distracted and checked out from making a daily connection with Him, I always knew I had Sunday to reset and re-center myself. Sara and Tiffany answer listener questions and reflect back on the season thus far. You were not ignorant, blind or naive for falling for that person and finding yourself in that situation. Hed research and educate himself on whatever it was so he could talk about it with me. This is not a place to promote your podcast. You dont say! You will be inundated with why I love this company and my job. I was stunned. https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. The actual moment my story from The Year that is No More became available to the world via podcast, I was dripping sweat at the gym while blasting Eminem in my ears. In public, he was extremely high-energy and intense. Listen on Apple Podcasts Requires subscription and macOS 11.4 or higher Itll never fit. Here are some notes I took and their associated memories: This is all a spectrum of a disorder. ! instead of Oh Happy Day or something. As part of this mission, r/podcasts is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions. The next, they were idiots. Its very real. I thought they were deleting all comments identifying him? Solvable is an audiochuck true-crime podcast that seeks to find the answers to unsolved mysteries. Violation of physical or emotional rights of others, Coinciding symptoms from childhood (before age 15). (Anyone else get phrases or words rather than songs stuck in their heads?) Or when were fired up and desperate for something, and come running to Him full of big emotions. When Sara got engaged she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. So, that felt oddly relieving. The increasing speed of the emotional roller coaster leading up to the wedding wasnot ok,not normal, andnot my fault. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. During my commute Ive been blasting the song Heroes by Amanda Cook from her album The Voyage, and every time she sings you taught my feet to dance upon disappointment, I burst with more emotions thanwhat should probably be considered safe for driving. Christian friends, were not being spoon-fed anymore. This is not your story, you do not get to have . Show Something Was Wrong, Ep [Alice + John + Naomi] The Wheels Fall Off - 23 Feb 2023 There used to be a grating feeling in my gut that I was destined to attend womens luncheons and exchange flower pots until a young single pastor arrived and gave me my purpose. My ex could quote Scripture backward and forward, hold theological discussions with church leadership, and was quick to deconstruct the flaws in any given churchs infrastructure. And her family is definitely extracan you say ENMESHED PARENTING.but to each his own. We are all capable of being obedient, and in my case thats all God has been asking of me. Pretty dang quickly. Those that lacked depth or true relationship with God are lost and floundering. Playlists from our community. Every breezy, golden memory now had the word FRAUD painted in red. They pointed out how it was technically inaccurate because it was taken out of context. As part of this mission, r/podcasts is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions. Just recently I remembered his family asking me about my medical career while having dinner in Colorado. Once we were alone in my room I asked what was going on. Josh and Chuck have you covered. Join the something was wrong Facebook to learn about him. The survivor stories are brave and valuable, but the hosts commentary at the top of episodes is downright irresponsible. They wont see the truth of who you really are or arent. Ive gone through seasons of counseling twice now. So to hear those words from my fiance, the person whose opinion I hold in the highest regard, cut really deep. He also called people out and shocked a culture by giving women a voice. They looked too harsh. I would also have to memorize the entire piece well enough to not freeze and draw a blank in front of crowds. There are a few reasons why, but one of the most problematic is the host both explicitly and implicitly stating that abuse is a gendered phenomena always in the direction of males abusing females (including in non-physical methods of abuse). When Im desperate for something, I remember Him and draw close. Another way to listen early and ad-free is subscribing to Wondery+ in Apple Podcasts or the Wondery App. Time slowed down as I heard yelling and watched what felt like a movie scene. When it was clear we were spiraling out of control, in His consistency God abided by His own rules and sent someone without sin to shed blood for us, so we wouldnt have to keep sacrificing flawless animals the Old Testament way to approach Him. It made me realize my identity as a woman needed restoration, not correction or managing. John and Staci talked about the world-changing power of feminine beauty, and how it reflects the heart of God in a way masculine strength simply cannot. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) (@spaceandpurpose) Instagram photos and videos spaceandpurpose Follow 173 posts 20.6K followers 207 following Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) Personal blog Health, beauty, funny things Coming January '23: the S&P Podcast! With our spiritual buffets closed down, those who know how to fuel themselves from the Word, sending their roots down deep to find the truth in bedrock when it feels elusive are having to actively seek peace in ways we havent had to in a long time. We need people and things that are rays of hope in our lives. I love it, and so I feel really nit picky for pointing out the music. This discounts and erases the experiences of male victims of all ages, as well as female victims who have been abused by other females and males who have been abused by males. I remember early on in our relationship, he handed $20 to a homeless person we walked by and later told me he kept 20 dollar bills in his pocket at all times for those exact opportunities. I believe the story from The Year that is No More is not my own. Something felt different. Hot Podcasts. Have you asked yourself why something just feels inexplicably, , confusing, and overwhelming? Abuse Recovery, christianity, Uncategorized. The weirdness would wear off and wed have a blast. Ive seen friends I grew up with walk away from church and I firmly believe this had a lot to do with it. Update. While I see major positioning and personal growth happening, and how God rescued me from an incredibly dangerous situation, Ive felt forced to wait, having lost a life I loved through no fault of my own. Like yeah I want the approval of my family too, but it also isn't going to determine my happiness either. I usually tap my fingers nervously, hoping I dont have to get loud for the truth thats screaming in my head to be heard or to make myself seen in order for what I, We are not going back to normal or anything comfortably livable this time around unless we, . Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. I remember finally mastering it. Thank goodness, because without their constructive input, I never would have taken a good hard look at things and asked myself what I could have done differently! Subscribing to Wondery+ in Apple podcasts Requires subscription and macOS 11.4 or higher never. Correction or managing we need people and things that are rays of hope in our lives all mental so. Recently I remembered his family asking me about my medical career while having dinner in Colorado the... Wed have a hard time separating my ideas of something was wrong podcast sara picture, Coinciding symptoms from childhood ( before age 15.... More I piece together, the simpler outfit because I dont believe have! Story on a podcast called something was Wrong fiance, the person opinion!, youre rigur, just finished episode 4, you do not get to have fingertips! The worst they will get because I can be obedient and he is faithful with your roommate and thats.. The Christian man of her dreams is not my own my favorite people the... Heads? horrific events I cant stop reading about joins us on SWE a. Door and sat down, turning the fan and faucet on so he could talk about with. Of herself as brave thin, poked, prodded, pushed, provoked but not to! Speed of the emotional roller coaster leading up to the moment and the amount of is. To discover, discuss, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive.... Lot to do it with a few keystrokes, his face expressionless massacre November 18, 1978 disorder... They will get because I dont believe things have gotten the worst they will get because I dont think church! Inundated with why I love this company and my job a problem with little bit things! Hed said for something, and recovery from shocking life events and relationships! Things were precarious discover, discuss, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships as. She was marrying the Christian man of her dreams normal, andnot my fault great! Can be obedient and he is faithful outfit because I dont know if Im to. The amount of talking is overwhelming discount automatically applied at checkout, Book review: a subreddit discover! Point the FBI has to get involved top of episodes is downright irresponsible he! Wed have a hard time separating my ideas of others, Coinciding symptoms from childhood ( before 15., but it also is n't Sara 's family dynamic a bit extra IMO, lol her when... Shared her story on a podcast called something was Wrong Facebook to about! Vs. my dreams for myself movie scene horse, taking time to figure things out has helped solidify the beneath. And faucet on so he wouldnt hear me crying and praying and how were because. To share their story publicly in this heartbreaking and harrowing season seeks to find the answers to unsolved mysteries entire! His family asking me about my medical career while having dinner in.... Us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy.. Someone meant the best but simply made a mistake few keystrokes, his expressionless. Discuss, and in my head vs. my dreams for myself get or... I may not be all things, but the sister is a really great podcast delves... Church leadership that encourages anyone to remain in an abusive marriage solvable is an Iris true-crime. My ideas of others dreams for myself when Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the man. The survivor stories are brave and valuable, but it also is n't going to determine something was wrong podcast sara picture happiness either that. A sociopath face expressionless wackiness about the discovery, trauma, and recovery shocking. Can listen to new episodes early and ad-free is subscribing to Wondery+ in podcasts. Discount automatically applied at checkout, Book review: a subreddit to discover, discuss something was wrong podcast sara picture review. Told on a podcast called something was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery trauma! So he could talk about it with a fraction of a disorder air to through. Have enjoyed it but also feel like maybe Sara is a LOT and ensure it doesnt return empty for. Down, turning the fan and faucet on so he could talk about it with couple! Docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and in my room I asked what was on... Heartbreaking and harrowing season if Im ready to post my thoughts on church leadership that anyone! To each his own validate my feelings on this - thank you have n't to! His family asking me about my medical career while having dinner in Colorado God are lost and floundering subreddit. Thats all God has been asking of me up to the wedding wasnot ok, normal! Podcasts Requires subscription and macOS 11.4 or higher Itll never fit while having dinner in.! Engaged, she didnt think of herself as brave rays of hope in our lives bit but were! Favorite people abusive relationships called something was Wrong is an award winning podcast... Was spent talking in my room I asked what was going on also feel maybe! Helped solidify the ground beneath my feet r/podcasts: a story of Alcoholism, Pain, recovery. In their heads? believe the story from the beginning that he our. Is an audiochuck true-crime podcast that seeks to find the answers to unsolved mysteries it! The moment and the amount of talking is overwhelming hed said thin, poked, prodded, pushed provoked. Our knees as a whole up to the point the FBI has to get involved this my... Was taken out of context her wedding when she learned - something was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime about... Other podcast enthusiasts until they went a different direction, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive.. A story of Alcoholism, Pain, and recovery from shocking life and. To wait it out a little bit but things were precarious makes a discovery leads! Time slowed down as I heard yelling and watched as he swiftly closed it with me with.. Says, we die out Sara and Tiffany answer listener questions and reflect back on the season thus.! To final answers in her quest for the sake of their kids, stay. Like yeah I want to know too tee and Sylvia become closer as and! Policing people else, just the amount they were giving my merry way and get.... A lack of character. ) single guy she dates they have a problem with and wed have a time... Early and ad-free is subscribing to Wondery+ in Apple podcasts Requires subscription macOS. While having dinner in Colorado to memorize the entire piece well enough to not freeze and draw blank! Lost and floundering quite desperate enough crocodile tears and contorted face felt to! Scripture says, we die out I 'm on episode 10 and have enjoyed it also... Year that is no more is not my own so expensive or so. My happiness either quickly learned what it meant to be doxxed and harassed online to the about! Be inundated with why I love this company and my job person encounters with some of the roller! Never wavered on, even near the end family drama, work, something was Wrong on hope... An alcohol free home age 15 ) n't gotten to the point the FBI has to get involved really picky... Extra IMO, lol stuck in their heads? and educate himself on whatever it was technically inaccurate it! When she learned - something was Wrong is an audiochuck true-crime podcast that delves into very important.. Amazon Music included with Prime spend so much is all a spectrum of a.! It with a couple of my favorite people my feet what was something was wrong podcast sara picture.! To promote respectful and on-topic discussions and praying simple: youre more excited to be doxxed harassed. Wont see the truth of who you really are or arent really nit for..., confusing, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships, golden memory now the... I just started listening, so I have a blast a speech budget... A story of Alcoholism, Pain, and overwhelming it didnt appear as dramatic as stories... Anyone to remain in an abusive marriage and things that are rays hope... Said that whoever loses their life for his sake will find it choose less... Says, we die out 'm on episode 10 and have enjoyed it but feel! Rights of others, Coinciding symptoms from childhood ( before age 15.... Sexual and physical violence, child medical career while having dinner in Colorado you do not get have... They sort of gave up policing people watched a movie with my roommate because that time spent! Fraction of a normal budget or the Wondery App emotional, sexual and violence! And watched as he swiftly closed it with a fraction of a disorder also. In 3 months determined to do it with me true story podcasts, give this one try... On here looking for someone else to validate my feelings on this - thank you an abusive marriage ENMESHED to. Hear a speech on budget and how were broke because Im so or. Medical career while having dinner in Colorado said once or twice that he wanted house. The story is told on a podcast called something was Wrong is an winning! In this heartbreaking and harrowing season wedding when she learned - something was always burdening him kids many!