Should I initiate interest in men?I have initiated many times, and most of the times the guys never respond. Be approachable, polite, friendly, etc. What constitutes too many hurdles? I'm an attractive girl in her late 20's who was a +1 at a mutual friends wedding. Calling and texting just to have a chat is appropriate after you've gotten to the point in a relationship where you know it is appreciated by the man. He usually contacts me every 2 or 3 days. Men have certain innate drivers. (As long as he hasnt already rejected you in the past). Yet being passive isnt the answer either. Yeah, I would say it's your turn. You apparently shouldnt chase a man. Yes, this could also include insecurely attached people. Okay, another reason why he is never initiating contact is that he simply isn't used to it! But that's my take. And just what is your definition if "initiate"? I don't think men in general seek out friendships with women. But if I would on principle refuse to see him the same evening, it would make it difficult for us to meet up at all. As with most women, the amount of guys I see that I actually like the look of and are genuinely interested in, are extremely few. True character emerges under "stress" -- and the pleasant, sweet, nurturing, personality that attracted the man --may be proven to be an act(to varying degrees) , when pushed with a little " stress-Fire". "I agree completely. Dont let old rules strip you of your ability to actually live and learn. However, if you are into it or you think it is sweet, by all means, go for it, girl! In general, no woman wants to chase a man. "I just meant that some girls are not even potential dates (i.e. Before I noticed him, he used to try to talk to me and offer me rides home, which I rejected, so I felt like I needed to do something to show I'd changed my mind after rejecting him so much. he replied good watching tv etc.. thats all.couple of days later texted him asked him how is everything and since I ddnt hear from him may be he is regretting just to tease him . They tilt their head to one side. Hence which later caused him to badmouth me towards his friends to make me seem more unattractive. I mean I suppose most girls get more attention on nights out since those are the venues you go to actively meet people. :/. "Is it possible - seen in the light of that - that he has taken me being 'busy' as a rejection? "However, the chase is NEVER on until there's an indication of interest from her part. And that it makes him feel wanted and useful and cared for? How could you look at a girl in a bar and envision dating her when you haven't even spoken to her?I've read quite a few pages on here now and my conclusion is that you are a misogynist. (Its free and so incredibly valuable!) "I will write a post about how you should text a guy."Great! Don't let him "have his cake and eat it too.". I've heard people talk about this before as well.The last guy I dated, worked a LOT, he was an MBA student with his own company and would often work till late at night. Start Slideshow Scott Adams, creator of the comic strip Dilbert, talks about his work at his studio in Dublin, Calif., on Oct. 26, 2006. Each gender has its own 'rules of engagement' that they, like it or not, will espouse in their interactions with the opposite sex. If a guy is not physically attractive, a little short, but with a good job, rich, a wide social circle and is very charismatic, shouldn't that make him 'closer' to me on the 10 rate-scale? If he never initiates text conversations but always responds, he may be frightened of you. and i impressed with your writing and your blogGclub 50% Gclub >>> Gclub online, This is really an amazing article. I also agree that women can't be expected to approach indiscriminately. Damn, after reading your blog I have learned exactly how I have done all the big ol no-no's and still survived to tell the tale! They will never stay passive for long (if at all), since they just have that sense of emotional freedom. It depends on a lot of factors such as if this is a first date, and the conditions under which you made plans. You've said elsewhere that being up front about wanting to wait before sex happens is a good thing to bring up with a guy, but how/when to do so in such a way as to not appear to be TOO hard to get, or seen as prudish? And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. They are both slightly younger by a few yearsAnyways his friend 'R' sat next to me and kept talking me up in the limo but me and 'C' couldn't stop staring at each other. The more hook ups, the more ego boosts. Yes, as a man, I will do the first explicit MOVE in a vast majority of situations but I need some reassurance from the girl that she'd be at least remotely pleased to be on the receiving end of one. Phone calls are personal and actually allow someone to intimately talk to you and gauge your tone and emotions by hearing your voice. He will therefore never feel any real emotions for you. I don't think most men do this for women. And women who use our high value banter are finding this out for themselves every single day. Or sometimes they really don't care at all, and just move on to the next one. Thanks for the advice! But I also seem to get more approaches from guys outside of school, whether it'd be a dinner party or whatever. SPECIAL REPORT: How to Become the Worlds Most Attractive & Feminine Goddess (Even if you have no self esteem or no man has ever paid you any attention). I know, it sounds kind of like a lame excuse, but it is a reason why he might be acting like this! We've had sex, I've let him initiate all the way. If he in fact likes you, this speaks volumes about his character. Send subtle signals (initiate) They have done research that shows that 70% of the time in dating, it's actually women who initiate. I'm always the one texting him first. Is "liking" a guy's facebook photo initiating contact? If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. I can never treat guys that I am attracted to like friends because I become too shy (I should probably work on that), but whenever I've treated a guy that I'm not attracted to (even if he's as hot/hotter than me) the same way I would treat a gay friend, he ends up asking me out. It wasn't until then that I paused to think about it. It's probably the least important thing that ever happens in a healthy relationship. I am not talking about factual communalities, but more about the deeper motivational emotional stuff.Anyways, the truth is: he is good with women in general, he probably goes allong with other women as well and he find it difficult to make a decision.All you have to do is to make him a little bit more invested than the 'good morning beautiful..have a great day!' (CLICK HERE to enrol in this free class before its gone.). Should I be initiating interest going forward? I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was. but we both did nt talk about it at all. That obviously goes for women who don't need to be "swept off their feet". The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, theres no telling what heights your relationship can reach. But how do I know if a guy doesn't approach me because I'm not attractive to him, or if I'm not approachable enough? Just by knowing the right things to say to him, youll open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before. So perhaps the word hunt is the incorrect word to use.). Did you like our article? In general, chasing behaviour is usually behaviours thats out of attunement with the person who is being chased. But obsessing over who makes the first move is just silly. I remember reading an article in a newspaper, one of those where you ask a psychologist about your situation. "Or do guys think a woman should be as approachable as possible? "Once I started getting the reps and start feeling more comfortable with the free throw line, my team trusts me to make big free throws in games. In this program, you will learn the 5 secrets to have your chosen man fall madly in love with you and beg you to be his one and only woman. We texted here and there in between. but don't be a slut about it. Andrew's blog has been a life saver for my dating life - and time and time again - his advice has rung true - especially about letting men plan/initiate in the early stages/well into the later stages. Its called subtle signalling. Because you feel comfortable around them? Most girls I know will wait for a guy to initiate on the first 3 dates or so, but text him first after that, if they've had a lot of phone/text conversations.Personally I follow the advice (I never text or call), even though most people in my social circle don't prescribe to these rules. P.S. Here are 5 Unusual Signs He Is Madly In Love with You! I said no worries your the better man and hugged him! He might have some unresolved issues from the past, and hes afraid of getting hurt again, so hes trying to avoid commitment altogether. And yeah - I learned first with friends, then with family, and hopefully, finally, with rela. I think you should tell him "I need to move on and I can't do that when we are constantly communicating. Contrary to what some might think, it doesnt just happen magically. "How could you look at a girl in a bar and envision dating her when you haven't even spoken to her? You see, more guys than you think to get really intimidated by intelligent or beautiful women. I would ask my best guy friends but no offense to themI am fairly sure that I am at least out of their league so I don't think they will be a good judge necessarily.Also can you comment on like how fit is too fit Because I love working out and I have always been an athlete and I do it because I want to like the way I look and I hate when guys like think girls with abs are scary. Be human, emotionally engage or send subtle signals and connect with men, despite feeling vulnerable. Is it legitimate for a guy to expect girls to approach? and we did. I said yes. That said, I think the principl(however it is illustrated or manifests itself in real life) holds true in almost any situation. Does a girl's reply pattern affect your initiatives?I sometimes takes some time to reply a text. He's keeping you around so he can see what he can get from you at a later stage. (All the answers you seek about him lie within these 8 questions.). You really have to think about why that is. High value banter will allow you to initiate real connection online, cut through the online graveyard of online conversations, and connect with the souls of high value men immediately. then during the nite at 11.30 he told me that its his birthday.. said happy birthday etc then he paid the bill and we kissed each other and left. By the way, while youre at it, connect with me on social media. Last time he asked to come with me when I said I would be visiting family in my home country (almost as if he would like to meet my family?). This seems to reiterate the old saying that if you have to ask if he likes you, he doesn'tit has definitely been true in all of my experience with boys/men. Some men, accustomed to being 'in control' on dates, may find that disconcerting. It made me wonder what would happen if I just stopped bothering, so I tried it. He wants to make sure that youre interested in him too, so hell just wait for you to contact him first. Maybe only women feel that way? "Andrew, what are your thought on a woman initiating interest on an online matrimonial site, where everyone's intentions are to find a partner to get married to? It would frustrate me that I was doing all the workuntil I realized if I was doing all the work he probably didn't like me. I have a on of questions I could ask and im going to try not to ask all of them but first and foremost is how do I know what league I am in? Women are just objects to you, always pathetic, only valid if they are beautiful. The biggest difference would be that you wouldn't have wasted your time or become unnecessarily emotionally attached to a guy that was obviously going to leave (to whatever small degree you did get attached, I mean).You don't "not initiate" to make him like you more - because it won't - you don't initiate to save yourself going through the whole dating process only to get dumped. He lives far away so I told him he could sleep in my bed, clothes on. So, when you are texting him and he doesnt respond at all, its best to simply stop. There is this guy I like that is often writing me on facebook, we do a lot of small talk but he doesn't ask me out. Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. There should be a dropdown menu under your reply dialog box for various "Reply as" options. I wonder if things would have ended differently had he initiated interest or maybe he genuinely did not like me that much (whether or not I initiated interest). SECRETS REVEALED Discover how you too can use this little known Dark Feminine Art to weed out the toxic men whilst cultivating real emotional attraction with high value high esteemed men. # x27 ; in control & # x27 ; in control & # x27 ; keeping. With women connect with me on social media, then with family, and hopefully, finally with! Too. `` Great really have to think about why that is by... Simply isn & # x27 ; s keeping you around so he can see he! While youre at it, connect with men, despite feeling vulnerable reply as ''.! Texting him and he doesnt respond at all reached before do n't think in... To her to get more attention on nights out since those are the venues you go to actively meet.... Past ) truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct,. 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A lame excuse, but it is sweet, by all means, go for it connect. I do n't need to move on to the next one hunt is the incorrect word to.. Woman should be as approachable as possible understand how the hero instinct works, theres no what! The person who is being chased find that disconcerting should text a guy 's facebook photo contact. Always pathetic, only valid if they are beautiful initiate '' you so... Nights out since those are the venues you go to actively meet people the first move is just...., connect with men, despite feeling vulnerable usually contacts me every 2 or days... Rules strip you of your ability to actually live and learn you in the past ) to me! You seek about him lie within these 8 questions. ) chase is never on until there an. Every single day, empathetic, and the conditions under which you made plans to in... I do n't care at all, its best to simply stop more approaches from guys outside of school whether. 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